This isn't going to be a side splitter... actually this may be one of the least humorous things I have ever written, because despite the coming holidays so many things seem to be more of a shock to the system than the relief of comfort and joy. This is more of a personal catharsis than anything else. I guess, in short, be warned.
Today I was having a pity party of epic proportions. I was frustrated at work with things I have no control over, I was being snippy with people who don't deserve it and was genuinely being a pain to be around or interact with... The odd thing was, I knew it too. I knew that I was being unreasonable and difficult, but still felt entitled to treat people poorly when I was the one who needed an attitude adjustment. Now, to those of you who know me, you may just write it off due to the fact that I am about 7 months pregnant. I think this is a poor excuse for bad behavior. So I refuse to dismiss my poor attitude as a "hormonal thing" and expect everyone to just forgive me while I blush and shrug away any genuine responsibility.
I was an all out fuss-atron-amus prime. My poor husband being the numero uno victim of collateral damage. Within about two hours I had yelled, given the silent treatment, and cried. (to which he just gave me a big hug and kiss on the head - needless to day, if I wasn't me, I'd be jealous of me)
But then, something terrible happened. I read the news..
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323297104578179271453737596.html
Just babies, killed at the hand of a man who will have to face the wrath of God himself to receive true justice. Families who have Christmas presents under the tree that will never be opened by the children who, just this morning, were daydreaming about what could be in that wrapping paper. Children traumatized by horrors they should never have had to see. Parents screaming in panic searching for their babies amidst chaos.
Then I felt a kick in my stomach, the kind that reminded me of my own child that I would be bringing into the world soon. The kind of kick that makes me smile every time I feel it. I know there is an entire range of emotions I could have felt, fear for my unborn child coming into a world like this, anger that the killer was dead and could never be forced to see the truth of what he did, depressed at the senselessness of it all... but ultimately, I was ashamed. Ashamed that it wasn't until the thoughts of such atrocity that I was snapped out of my self pity and wallowing. Ashamed that I had been so negative around my family, the people who care about me most, when there were so many others who would never see the ones they loved alive again.
So in light of this holiday season, I invite you to join me in trying to love past our own perception, to try very hard to change our own point of view to one of acceptance, kindness, and patience. Love and life are fleeting, so treasure them while they surround you. Letting go of anger, as a personal choice, is a luxury, not a missed opportunity to prove a point.
For the families affected by this tragedy, I will pray for you as fervently as I pray for the health and safety of my son. In the hopes that although healing will never be a true option, that peace will find your hearts and allow you to, one day, feel the calmness of quiet. Although I may never know your name, or hold you through your grief I care for you, in the most basic and honest of ways.
Sincerely,
SM
Friday, December 14, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Hey, I forget.. Were you in for this? Or not?
Variety is the spice a life... what an awesome way to say that life can be a neon pink roller coaster of joy, uncertainty, anger, happiness, humility, and pride (and if you're a gal, usually a combination of many within a very short period of time). Some seek their own flavor of variety by attacking life in the face with a full on assault and others choose have the variety of life smack them in the face when they're sitting on the front porch drinking a glass of tea. I am a card-carrying member of the latter group of life, but I must say that I have been developing a sense of vivacious-non-tolerance-for-bs. It may be due to a number of factors, but recently it has lead me to do something I never thought I would do in my entire life...
I yelled in the face of a police officer (and I can honestly say that I am not sorry about it)
My Mom and I were driving in downtown Dallas because both of our workplaces had volunteer booths at the Pride Parade this past weekend. So I had to stop by one of my company's retail stores to pick up my t-shirt and bracelet to get into the park. Neither my Mom nor I were 100% sure where the store was so as we approached it on the right, we missed the first entrance.. No problem right? We'll just turn the corner and go in through the side. So we make the right turn and see that the side entrance is blocked off...
Oh No! What to do?!?! How will we ever fi... BAM BAM BAM BAM
All of the sudden someone had started banging on the trunk of my Mom's car. Now let me say, that my initial reaction when someone scares me is one of the following:
This cop and I had a brief exchange of yelling back and forth, words were said, things happened, it's kind of a haze. I just remember snapping.. the thought of someone yelling at my Mom in the face sent me over the edge and I let her have it. All things considered she probably should have asked me to step out of the car. But she didn't. The more I thought about it the more I realized that I wasn't sorry and that she really deserved it. I have a very stong conviction that it doesn't matter if you're the president of the United States or the person standing next to you in line at the convenience store, everyone deserves respect. However, if you decide to be an [expletive eleted] prepare to be met with an equal lack of respect that you came to the table with.
It's pretty liberating to be able to say.. "Hey, guess what, you don't get to talk to me like that" and you know what... it stops..
I suppose its not quite as crazy of a story that I could have told my kid later in my life. "Yeah, when I was pregnant with you I got into a scuffle with a cop and went to jail for the night. Technically you've been to jail already, ain't you proud?!?" but I'll just have to settle for the less impressive "I Stood up for myself, and it worked" maybe not as rough and tumble, but a pretty good lesson all the same.
Just a fun story and some food for thought... Missed y'all :)
I yelled in the face of a police officer (and I can honestly say that I am not sorry about it)
My Mom and I were driving in downtown Dallas because both of our workplaces had volunteer booths at the Pride Parade this past weekend. So I had to stop by one of my company's retail stores to pick up my t-shirt and bracelet to get into the park. Neither my Mom nor I were 100% sure where the store was so as we approached it on the right, we missed the first entrance.. No problem right? We'll just turn the corner and go in through the side. So we make the right turn and see that the side entrance is blocked off...
Oh No! What to do?!?! How will we ever fi... BAM BAM BAM BAM
All of the sudden someone had started banging on the trunk of my Mom's car. Now let me say, that my initial reaction when someone scares me is one of the following:
- Wet my pants
- Scream like a banshee
- Fly into an irreversible fit of insane rage
This cop and I had a brief exchange of yelling back and forth, words were said, things happened, it's kind of a haze. I just remember snapping.. the thought of someone yelling at my Mom in the face sent me over the edge and I let her have it. All things considered she probably should have asked me to step out of the car. But she didn't. The more I thought about it the more I realized that I wasn't sorry and that she really deserved it. I have a very stong conviction that it doesn't matter if you're the president of the United States or the person standing next to you in line at the convenience store, everyone deserves respect. However, if you decide to be an [expletive eleted] prepare to be met with an equal lack of respect that you came to the table with.
It's pretty liberating to be able to say.. "Hey, guess what, you don't get to talk to me like that" and you know what... it stops..
I suppose its not quite as crazy of a story that I could have told my kid later in my life. "Yeah, when I was pregnant with you I got into a scuffle with a cop and went to jail for the night. Technically you've been to jail already, ain't you proud?!?" but I'll just have to settle for the less impressive "I Stood up for myself, and it worked" maybe not as rough and tumble, but a pretty good lesson all the same.
Just a fun story and some food for thought... Missed y'all :)
Monday, May 14, 2012
A + B = Platypus, Homage to "What the Crap?"
There has been a lot of chat lately about certain very controversial topics. Hitting the mainstream is President Obama's stance on Gay marriage. I have rather strong opinions about the fact, and I have no problem sharing them. However, rather than writing a dissertation on the opinions I have, I want to focus on the "why" of political debate and the inherent fallibility of the source of the opinion.
Case Study #1
A person comments that President Obama is a hypocrite because he supports gay marriage but is married to a woman.
Case Study #2
A person quotes scripture based on a single verse while eliminating the impact of context.
Example:
"Fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. As he has injured the other, so he is to be injured." Leviticus 24:20
"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth, But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." Matthew 5:38-39
So then, with this and countless other examples, what is the point? Is it best to scream to the heavens that all people are idiots, declare ourselves supreme geniuses, and begin to demoralize and crusade against the less educated, the blinded masses, and ultimately improve the world as a whole?
No, that will probably not end well. In an extreme example this mentality could go as far as.... well lets just say Germany latched on to this pretty seriously in World War II.
So is our only alternative then to give up and live in a bubble of happy complacency with no effect on the outside world and follow the following example?
Case Study #1
A person comments that President Obama is a hypocrite because he supports gay marriage but is married to a woman.
Case Study #2
A person quotes scripture based on a single verse while eliminating the impact of context.
Example:
"Fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. As he has injured the other, so he is to be injured." Leviticus 24:20
"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth, But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." Matthew 5:38-39
So then, with this and countless other examples, what is the point? Is it best to scream to the heavens that all people are idiots, declare ourselves supreme geniuses, and begin to demoralize and crusade against the less educated, the blinded masses, and ultimately improve the world as a whole?
No, that will probably not end well. In an extreme example this mentality could go as far as.... well lets just say Germany latched on to this pretty seriously in World War II.
So is our only alternative then to give up and live in a bubble of happy complacency with no effect on the outside world and follow the following example?
Once upon a time there were four people: Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody, and Anybody. Whenever there was an important job to do Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Nobody would do it. So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place.
No, perhaps black and white are not the only options here. Perhaps there is a grey option as well. Here's some food for thought, what about the individual focusing on becoming a master craftsman. A craftsman of the individual. Rather than trying to mold the masses to what the law should state, try molding the individual to question. Question everything.
Political ideology, personal beliefs, values, ethics... all of these should be able to be rigorously tested and considered so that when the discussion is initiated our principles do not falter at a sound counterargument, or we are not forced to stick our fingers in our ears and say "lalalalalalalalalalalala"
Believe what you believe, and hold on to faith. But ask yourself, are you arguing out of conviction or understanding? Did you question your conviction so that your faith is enhanced by your knowledge?
If you cannot say yes... wouldn't you prefer that you could?
This is the grey. Don't enter into an argument with the person from Case Study #1. You could present them a picture of a circle and they will still call it a square. You will not win that argument. Rather than trying to fix the planet and make them think and feel the same way you do, try to find the rare person who is willing to listen and able to explain. You may just learn something new. That person could turn your masterpiece painting on it's side and help you realize you were only painting one side of the canvas.
Don't bathe in a teacup, don't swallow the sea, and question everything.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Veritas
There are several phrases revolving around the "truth" that would make great Wheel of Fortune boards:
At the root of the truth is a broader topic of honesty. Does honesty make a man/woman? Does dishonesty crumble integrity, justice, and (by default) the truth? Honestly, (pun intended) I think there is a more fundamental issue than honesty and truth combined...
Effort.
Effort is what makes people try to be honest, try to be truthful, and try to maintain integrity. Without effort there is no purpose to anything. Jimmy Stewart put it succinctly in the 1965 production of Shenandoah:
If you haven't seen the movie, you really should. They just don't make movies like that anymore. I digress, the point I'm trying to make is that even though the individual may never achieve perfection, it doesn't mean it is pointless to try. Let me illustrate this in a way that most people will probably be able to relate to..
So this is you...
You wake up early, do your hair, pick out a nice outfit. Take care of children/spouse/animals. Drive to work. Attend meetings. Meet deadlines. Schedule more meetings to make more deadlines. Deliver a polished and accurate finished product. Drive home. Be a loving and responsive member of your household. Take care of children/spouse/animals. Maintain a clean healthy home. Crash into bed exhausted, but ready to do it again tomorrow.. Oh, and still don't think you rock the socks off of life...
In other words you're this...
This is effort in it's finest form. Did you notice the word perfect wasn't in there once? It was all about verbs, not adjectives. That sort of life, which is honesty, integrity, hard work, and truth all derive from effort. This life may leave you tired, cranky, and wishing for a few more days on the weekend to enjoy some time on the couch, but by performing these exhausting actions day in and day out you are proving that you are accountable, responsible, and trustworthy.
but, this is them...
They cut you off so short that you almost wreck because they are late to work and only care if they get there safely. They tell you that something is due as soon as possible, so you get it ready, schedule a meeting, which they proceed to reschedule 5 times (I thought this was asap?!), they hit their children rather than take the time to discipline them. Oh, and they think they have everything figured out and are above any useless advice someone like you can provide. Basically they are like this...
Which turns you into this..
So in light of the fact that you cannot go from person to person and b-slap them into wonderful people who give a flip about others, I offer this food for thought:
If your adversaries are so incredibly dumb, so feeble of mind, that they cannot manage to follow through on most if not all of their promises or duties, let them go.
It is a common struggle to fight to keep things afloat. Often times the do-ers end up carrying the weight of the others and status quo is met, so there is no retribution or consequence. Everyone has roles to fulfill in this life, the hardest part is defining which ones you can commit to, which ones you can let go of, and which ones were never yours to begin with. Once you have that figured out, you're one step closer to having your efforts become your joy.
Or, if you prefer a less holistic approach to finding balance in this life, if you have a rock in your pile of diamonds, consider this..
It's a rock... encourage it to cut glass and vanity may force the rock to try... the rock may then learn a pretty good lesson when it tries... and fails
:)
Good luck in all of your endeavors my friends.
- The simple truth
- The whole truth
- Nothing but the truth
- Many a true word is spoken in jest
- The truth will out
- Truth is stranger than fiction, etc.
At the root of the truth is a broader topic of honesty. Does honesty make a man/woman? Does dishonesty crumble integrity, justice, and (by default) the truth? Honestly, (pun intended) I think there is a more fundamental issue than honesty and truth combined...
Effort.
Effort is what makes people try to be honest, try to be truthful, and try to maintain integrity. Without effort there is no purpose to anything. Jimmy Stewart put it succinctly in the 1965 production of Shenandoah:
"If we don't try, then we don't do, and if we don't do, then why are we here on this earth."
If you haven't seen the movie, you really should. They just don't make movies like that anymore. I digress, the point I'm trying to make is that even though the individual may never achieve perfection, it doesn't mean it is pointless to try. Let me illustrate this in a way that most people will probably be able to relate to..
So this is you...
You wake up early, do your hair, pick out a nice outfit. Take care of children/spouse/animals. Drive to work. Attend meetings. Meet deadlines. Schedule more meetings to make more deadlines. Deliver a polished and accurate finished product. Drive home. Be a loving and responsive member of your household. Take care of children/spouse/animals. Maintain a clean healthy home. Crash into bed exhausted, but ready to do it again tomorrow.. Oh, and still don't think you rock the socks off of life...
In other words you're this...
This is effort in it's finest form. Did you notice the word perfect wasn't in there once? It was all about verbs, not adjectives. That sort of life, which is honesty, integrity, hard work, and truth all derive from effort. This life may leave you tired, cranky, and wishing for a few more days on the weekend to enjoy some time on the couch, but by performing these exhausting actions day in and day out you are proving that you are accountable, responsible, and trustworthy.
but, this is them...
They cut you off so short that you almost wreck because they are late to work and only care if they get there safely. They tell you that something is due as soon as possible, so you get it ready, schedule a meeting, which they proceed to reschedule 5 times (I thought this was asap?!), they hit their children rather than take the time to discipline them. Oh, and they think they have everything figured out and are above any useless advice someone like you can provide. Basically they are like this...
Which turns you into this..
So in light of the fact that you cannot go from person to person and b-slap them into wonderful people who give a flip about others, I offer this food for thought:
If your adversaries are so incredibly dumb, so feeble of mind, that they cannot manage to follow through on most if not all of their promises or duties, let them go.
It is a common struggle to fight to keep things afloat. Often times the do-ers end up carrying the weight of the others and status quo is met, so there is no retribution or consequence. Everyone has roles to fulfill in this life, the hardest part is defining which ones you can commit to, which ones you can let go of, and which ones were never yours to begin with. Once you have that figured out, you're one step closer to having your efforts become your joy.
Or, if you prefer a less holistic approach to finding balance in this life, if you have a rock in your pile of diamonds, consider this..
It's a rock... encourage it to cut glass and vanity may force the rock to try... the rock may then learn a pretty good lesson when it tries... and fails
:)
Good luck in all of your endeavors my friends.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
A commentary on the insanity of the Smurphtastic
I am absolutely going to tell on myself now, this is my way of letting you know that just maybe, your crazy moments are a little more sane, and also to say to the world that I have the most patient husband in the world. When I get in these moods, he has started calling me "Bittersweetness" which always makes me smile.. I know.. get a room..
All of the following examples are actual stories that I have experienced, that both my husband and I laugh about now. So please keep in mind that these are exceptions in our relationship, not the rule. We do have a lot of laughs though.
Scenario #1 - Illuminating my inability to deal with change.
So in the morning I have a very standard routine, I rarely deviate from it unless the world collapses... I could probably take a picture of myself at the same time during the week day and I would be doing the exact same thing, there is extreme comfort in consistency and I do not react well when a change interrupts my routine. So one morning, my husband gets up early and turns on the shower at the same time that I was planning on hopping in the shower. (This was in our apartment and we only had 1 bathroom.) So, with bed hair, toothbrush hanging out of my mouth and lazers shooting out of my eyeballs as he was about to step in the shower I asked, "You're getting the shower ready for me right?" He took one look at my face, and went back to bed. I still apologize for that day...
Scenario #2 - You have lost your d@mn mind...
Every once in a while I have a moment that makes me wonder why I still have friends. My Mom refers to it as "Crying about both." For example, sometimes when I get angry with absolutlely justifiable and righteous anger (which translates to "I have no idea why I'm angry, but it is really intense") I'll say things like "We never go out anymore, are you embarassed to be seen with me? You are aren't you, you think I'm fat, and ugly, and terrible" and then 5 seconds later say "I work so hard, so if I want to stay at home and lay on the couch with PJs on I can, and no one can tell me no."
:: SIGH :: I'm glad we laugh about things.
Scenario #3 - Oh the cheesy goodness...
Okay another one of my favorites was when we first got married. I'm not what you may refer to as a "cook" so I was really branching out and making dinner for the two of us. Home made enchiladas, cornbread muffins, and all the fixins. I was soooooo proud of my tex-mex meal. My husband is not a fan of onions, but I love them. So I chopped them up and put (what I would consider) a few in the enchiladas. If I had thought about it at the time I would have taken a picture, framed it, and awkwardly shown it to anyone who visited the house. Needless to say I was pleased with myself. So I set the table and practically hovered over him as he took his first bite. I was wiggling in my chair waiting to be praised for my culinary masterpiece. And then...
"There are too many onions in this"
O.....M.......Jeeeeeeez
I lost it, absolutely lost it. After about an hour of insanity we came to the conclusion that all I wanted was for him to lie to me and "roll in the cheesy goodness" and he came back with "I prefer to be honest with the ones I love" ... a stalemate. Needless to say he does the majority of the cooking now.
I hope that you got a chuckle out of our insanity, if you've got a crazy moment or two too, please feel free to share.
All of the following examples are actual stories that I have experienced, that both my husband and I laugh about now. So please keep in mind that these are exceptions in our relationship, not the rule. We do have a lot of laughs though.
Scenario #1 - Illuminating my inability to deal with change.
So in the morning I have a very standard routine, I rarely deviate from it unless the world collapses... I could probably take a picture of myself at the same time during the week day and I would be doing the exact same thing, there is extreme comfort in consistency and I do not react well when a change interrupts my routine. So one morning, my husband gets up early and turns on the shower at the same time that I was planning on hopping in the shower. (This was in our apartment and we only had 1 bathroom.) So, with bed hair, toothbrush hanging out of my mouth and lazers shooting out of my eyeballs as he was about to step in the shower I asked, "You're getting the shower ready for me right?" He took one look at my face, and went back to bed. I still apologize for that day...
Scenario #2 - You have lost your d@mn mind...
Every once in a while I have a moment that makes me wonder why I still have friends. My Mom refers to it as "Crying about both." For example, sometimes when I get angry with absolutlely justifiable and righteous anger (which translates to "I have no idea why I'm angry, but it is really intense") I'll say things like "We never go out anymore, are you embarassed to be seen with me? You are aren't you, you think I'm fat, and ugly, and terrible" and then 5 seconds later say "I work so hard, so if I want to stay at home and lay on the couch with PJs on I can, and no one can tell me no."
:: SIGH :: I'm glad we laugh about things.
Scenario #3 - Oh the cheesy goodness...
Okay another one of my favorites was when we first got married. I'm not what you may refer to as a "cook" so I was really branching out and making dinner for the two of us. Home made enchiladas, cornbread muffins, and all the fixins. I was soooooo proud of my tex-mex meal. My husband is not a fan of onions, but I love them. So I chopped them up and put (what I would consider) a few in the enchiladas. If I had thought about it at the time I would have taken a picture, framed it, and awkwardly shown it to anyone who visited the house. Needless to say I was pleased with myself. So I set the table and practically hovered over him as he took his first bite. I was wiggling in my chair waiting to be praised for my culinary masterpiece. And then...
"There are too many onions in this"
O.....M.......Jeeeeeeez
I lost it, absolutely lost it. After about an hour of insanity we came to the conclusion that all I wanted was for him to lie to me and "roll in the cheesy goodness" and he came back with "I prefer to be honest with the ones I love" ... a stalemate. Needless to say he does the majority of the cooking now.
I hope that you got a chuckle out of our insanity, if you've got a crazy moment or two too, please feel free to share.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango
Okie dokie artichokies...
Here are some things you should not go another moment without knowing:
1. More than ten people a year are killed by vending machines.
2. Hippo milk is pink.
3. Allegedly, Judge Judy makes $45 million a year
4. The average person spends three years of his or her life on a toilet.
5. In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat your fingers off".
6. The U.S. has more bagpipe bands than Scotland does.
7. 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man
8. Play-Doh was first manufactured as a wallpaper cleaner.
9. It is impossible to hum if your nose is plugged and your mouth is closed.
10. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear
11. There are 2,500,000 rivets in the Eiffel Tower.
12. There are no rental cars in Bermuda.
13. The symbol on the 'pound' key (#) is called an octothorpe.
14. Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
15. A survey reported that 12% of Americans think that Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.
16. The WD in WD-40 stands for Water Displacer.
17. Turtles can breathe through their butts.
18. The oldest known animal in the world was 'Ming' the 405 year old clam, discovered in 2007.
19. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.
and last but not least...
20. Floccinaucinihilipilification, the declaration of an item being useless, is the longest non-medical term in the English language.
Consider yourself enlightened :) Also this...
You know who you are... Happy St. Patty's day everyone!
Here are some things you should not go another moment without knowing:
1. More than ten people a year are killed by vending machines.
2. Hippo milk is pink.
3. Allegedly, Judge Judy makes $45 million a year
4. The average person spends three years of his or her life on a toilet.
5. In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat your fingers off".
6. The U.S. has more bagpipe bands than Scotland does.
7. 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man
8. Play-Doh was first manufactured as a wallpaper cleaner.
9. It is impossible to hum if your nose is plugged and your mouth is closed.
10. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear
11. There are 2,500,000 rivets in the Eiffel Tower.
12. There are no rental cars in Bermuda.
13. The symbol on the 'pound' key (#) is called an octothorpe.
14. Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
15. A survey reported that 12% of Americans think that Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.
16. The WD in WD-40 stands for Water Displacer.
17. Turtles can breathe through their butts.
18. The oldest known animal in the world was 'Ming' the 405 year old clam, discovered in 2007.
19. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.
and last but not least...
20. Floccinaucinihilipilification, the declaration of an item being useless, is the longest non-medical term in the English language.
Consider yourself enlightened :) Also this...
You know who you are... Happy St. Patty's day everyone!
Monday, February 20, 2012
Southern Comfort
Last week my family and I mourned the passing of my Mamaw (my Dad's Mom). Although we all shed tears, I can't truthfully call it a somber experience, my family told stories, laughed at memories, and held each other. I wanted to find a way to honor her memory, but nothing was good enough. My Mamaw was feisty, honest, and the toughest woman I have ever known. So, after much thought I have decided to honor her memory by sharing things she instilled in me; these ideals I hope to pass along to my children that they may know who she was.
This magazine was printed on the day she was born, I thought it was neat that it had the full date. The art on the cover is beautiful.
Dedicated in loving memory to Betty Jo Ray Efflandt (1932 - 2012)
- Family is strength. You draw upon each other for comfort and support, even if you're telling them something you know they don't want to hear. You don't forsake each other, you hold each other up, or there's a whoopin' with your name on it. That is how you survive this life.
- Respect is not an option. Mamaw taught her children that respect was demanded. Respect your parents, your peers and your elders. This may mean pulling over to the side of the road when a funeral procession passes you, or it may mean setting the table at your parent's house before dinner when you're 27 years old. It's just what you do.
- Be who you are. No one ever had a doubt about who Mamaw was. She was the same person to a Baptist Preacher as she was to a cashier at a store. You may not have liked what she had to say, but she never balked or tried to hide who she was. She lived to her last day true to her heart.
- Be brave. I imagine over 79 years that my Mamaw had been involved in a multitude of situations that tested her bravery. She would never back down, she never gave up. Sometimes to the confusion of others, but she was a lioness, and young or old, she fought to protect.
- Stand in faith. Towards the end my Mamaw said, "Open the gates and let me in." She was ready to go home. She believed in God and was unmoving in her faith. Her sense of right and wrong, her identity as a woman, a mother, and a wife came from faith. It has to be something that is important.
- Expect the best from others. Notice I didn't say "hope for" or "believe in." I absolutely mean "expect." When children talk back to their parents with no consequences, when men don't keep their word, when women aren't willing to work... these are things that should cause shame. I'd like to think my Mamaw would grab that disobedient child and put the fear of God in him/her. I think she would go up to a lying man and tell him he should be ashamed, and I think she would work right next to a lazy woman just to make sure she did the work right.
This magazine was printed on the day she was born, I thought it was neat that it had the full date. The art on the cover is beautiful.
Dedicated in loving memory to Betty Jo Ray Efflandt (1932 - 2012)
Friday, February 10, 2012
Elementary my dear Facebook Friend...
OOOOOOOKAY...
In my marriage, I have learned that bottling things up and then exploding later is not the most constructive way to deal with annoyances and frustrations in this life. In honor of that life lesson I am going to have a little vent.
Before I jump off into the deep end, I would like to add a small caveat to that..
In doing this I am not saying that I am perfect, I make typos, I have actually seen e-mails where I have made the mistakes I am about to correct. My intention is to advise, because I genuinely believe that some people are not aware of these rules of grammar... So look out, because..
In my marriage, I have learned that bottling things up and then exploding later is not the most constructive way to deal with annoyances and frustrations in this life. In honor of that life lesson I am going to have a little vent.
Before I jump off into the deep end, I would like to add a small caveat to that..
In doing this I am not saying that I am perfect, I make typos, I have actually seen e-mails where I have made the mistakes I am about to correct. My intention is to advise, because I genuinely believe that some people are not aware of these rules of grammar... So look out, because..
Homophones - words that sound the same but have different meanings.
Merry and Marry
Bear and Bare
Your and You're
There, Their, and They're
And it is these last two that give me particular paws.. I mean pause ;)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your and You're
As a rule of thumb, if you can't substitute "you are" in the sentence, then you should use "Your." Using "your" denotes ownership. Now don't fall asleep on me here, because the difference can be quite easy to spot. Consider the following:
"_____ the best friend I've ever had"
Do you own your friend? I certainly hope not!
Could "you are" fit in the blank? Yes.
See! That was easy right? (...like nails on a freaking chalkboard I swear)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
They're, Their, and There
Now, if you've got a hold on "your" and "you're," then you're 66% of the way to getting this one too.
Think of it like this:
You & They
Your & Their = Ownership, "Is that your cat, or is that their cat?"
You're & They're = 're is the conjunction for adding "are." "You are" and "they are."
Now the final step is that pesky "there." Look at the spelling and take out the root word "here." Placement, location.
"They're taking their dog over there."
They are taking (ownership) their dog over (location) there.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, so if you have questions please ask. Otherwise I will assume that you understand and as we say in our conference calls, silence is compliance.
So please, make mistakes, slap yourself in the forehead when you make them, but at least make an effort to sound like you were awake through part of elementary school.
"I C U B 4 U C me cuz i h8 ur face" does not immediately signal, "Hey, I'd like to have an invigorating conversation with that person." It says to me, "I have a lot of drama going on, and I hit people to get my point across because words are obviously too difficult for me to use." The word "Neanderthal" comes to mind.
I have to wonder, are these people proud of sounding unintelligent? Do they read? Is it their intention to vex me? If I said that to them would they know what "vex" means?
Things like this:
1 - Capitalize the first letter of a sentence please.
2 - "Their" should be "they're."
3 - Again, capitalize the first letter of a sentence, please.
4 - "Your" should be "you're."
5 - I'm assuming he/she meant "probably" rather than "probable."
6 - The entire sentence is a paradox. Everyone is a someone. If you're "only jealous" the implication is that you are, actually, incorrect.
Check these out...
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The leprechaun tells me to burn things... but on a serious note...
So much to talk about..
_______________
I posted a heartfelt kudos to all those in call centers and customer service a few days ago on facebook, but I would like to take some time to expand. At work I participated in an 'all hands on deck' side job which required me to answer phone calls from the general public. It completely changed my outlook on my work day. In my normal job function I absolutely love what I do, but with these new responsibilities I found myself waiting for the end of the day and practically skipping out of the office. It wasn't that it wasn't challenging, or interesting... but it was the unknown. When I gave my intro spiel I never knew if I would be answered with a kind older gentleman who was organized and patient... or if it was the stressed out Mom from NY who expected a package three days ago that never came.
I thrive on deadlines, I live for editing, and I seriously love organizing. All of these are definite, standards that make me good at what I do. The general public is just so.. unpredictable.. and getting yelled at for something I have/had no control over is not my idea of a great day. So to those of you who bravely answer the phone with a kind voice, and a sincere desire to help the person on the other end of the line, keep your chin up... You are the wheels that keep companies running. You, who remain courteous to the so-and-so on the other line who is yelling at you, are greatly appreciated and respected by at least one person. Me. Honestly and profoundly. I admire your determination and your ability to kick a$$ and take names. Literally.
________________________
I am not really one for resolutions. I like doing things on my own schedule and for some reason 2012 hasn't quite gotten off to a BANG.. unless you count getting rear-ended on Friday the 13th as a "bang" (and it was a day I was about to face a full 8 hours on the phone)..
But I refuse to blame 2012... 2012 is the customer service representative of years. It wants to help. It wants to do a great job, but the people who interact with it are not appreciative, not polite, and not willing to see the bigger picture. In support of "2012: The Underdog" I am attempting the following:
1. Start a book club. I love books. I love talking about books. So why not share my love of books with others. In this endeavor I plan to accomplish 3 things. Encourage others to read. Read more myself. Not be disappointed if it is a total flop. Any takers?
2. Participate In/Create/Find a way to help kids who are being bullied for their sexual orientation. I'm at a bit of a loss here. I don't know what would be the most efficient or supportive way to help them. I can remember when I was in High School I didn't want to talk to some random stranger about my problems, and I imagine kids today are about the same. I never had to struggle with 'coming out' but I do remember being bullied for the way I dressed and the way I looked. It absolutely breaks my heart to read about kids who killed themselves because no one took the time to reach out and give them support. No one deserves that. I want it to be something honest, not required to be PC, and something that genuinely helps people. I may have to put this one in the "development" stage rather than the "action" stage, but I hope it gets there soon and can start making a difference soon.
3. Make small steps towards health. My entire adult life I have struggled with failed workout plans. I don't think that there is an easy way to lose weight. It has to be a commitment to health that I have not made. If I am totally honest I have used countless methods of motivation.. I used to put a picture of a morbidly obese person in my bathroom mirror so that I would see what I didn't want to be. I would starve myself for days because being skinny made me feel better than eating. I actually lost about 40 pounds in high school by only eating once a day, if that. So I have a new plan, rather than destroying myself at the gym or starving myself or using negative reinforcement... I have decided to take small steps. Replacing soda with green tea is the first one. I am not getting caffeine headaches, and I cut my calorie intake in half, and I'm happy with the change.
My next step is to walk my dogs once a week. Usually I would get a gym membership, hit the treadmill for an hour and then the weight machines for an hour. I love my dogs, and I think this is something I would enjoy and would help them. Eventually I will increase the frequency.. but I'm not stressed about it. I just know I want a change. Someone once told me "If you don't like something about yourself, then fix it."
That I believe will be my mantra for 2012.. "Stay Calm, and fix it" (and not in the doormat way, but in the self-reliant powerful way)
Cheers to a rocky start and a stellar ending!
Happy 2012 everyone!
- Cup of Earl Grey - Check
- Comfy blanket - Check
- Netbook charged - Check
_______________
I posted a heartfelt kudos to all those in call centers and customer service a few days ago on facebook, but I would like to take some time to expand. At work I participated in an 'all hands on deck' side job which required me to answer phone calls from the general public. It completely changed my outlook on my work day. In my normal job function I absolutely love what I do, but with these new responsibilities I found myself waiting for the end of the day and practically skipping out of the office. It wasn't that it wasn't challenging, or interesting... but it was the unknown. When I gave my intro spiel I never knew if I would be answered with a kind older gentleman who was organized and patient... or if it was the stressed out Mom from NY who expected a package three days ago that never came.
I thrive on deadlines, I live for editing, and I seriously love organizing. All of these are definite, standards that make me good at what I do. The general public is just so.. unpredictable.. and getting yelled at for something I have/had no control over is not my idea of a great day. So to those of you who bravely answer the phone with a kind voice, and a sincere desire to help the person on the other end of the line, keep your chin up... You are the wheels that keep companies running. You, who remain courteous to the so-and-so on the other line who is yelling at you, are greatly appreciated and respected by at least one person. Me. Honestly and profoundly. I admire your determination and your ability to kick a$$ and take names. Literally.
________________________
I am not really one for resolutions. I like doing things on my own schedule and for some reason 2012 hasn't quite gotten off to a BANG.. unless you count getting rear-ended on Friday the 13th as a "bang" (and it was a day I was about to face a full 8 hours on the phone)..
But I refuse to blame 2012... 2012 is the customer service representative of years. It wants to help. It wants to do a great job, but the people who interact with it are not appreciative, not polite, and not willing to see the bigger picture. In support of "2012: The Underdog" I am attempting the following:
1. Start a book club. I love books. I love talking about books. So why not share my love of books with others. In this endeavor I plan to accomplish 3 things. Encourage others to read. Read more myself. Not be disappointed if it is a total flop. Any takers?
2. Participate In/Create/Find a way to help kids who are being bullied for their sexual orientation. I'm at a bit of a loss here. I don't know what would be the most efficient or supportive way to help them. I can remember when I was in High School I didn't want to talk to some random stranger about my problems, and I imagine kids today are about the same. I never had to struggle with 'coming out' but I do remember being bullied for the way I dressed and the way I looked. It absolutely breaks my heart to read about kids who killed themselves because no one took the time to reach out and give them support. No one deserves that. I want it to be something honest, not required to be PC, and something that genuinely helps people. I may have to put this one in the "development" stage rather than the "action" stage, but I hope it gets there soon and can start making a difference soon.
3. Make small steps towards health. My entire adult life I have struggled with failed workout plans. I don't think that there is an easy way to lose weight. It has to be a commitment to health that I have not made. If I am totally honest I have used countless methods of motivation.. I used to put a picture of a morbidly obese person in my bathroom mirror so that I would see what I didn't want to be. I would starve myself for days because being skinny made me feel better than eating. I actually lost about 40 pounds in high school by only eating once a day, if that. So I have a new plan, rather than destroying myself at the gym or starving myself or using negative reinforcement... I have decided to take small steps. Replacing soda with green tea is the first one. I am not getting caffeine headaches, and I cut my calorie intake in half, and I'm happy with the change.
My next step is to walk my dogs once a week. Usually I would get a gym membership, hit the treadmill for an hour and then the weight machines for an hour. I love my dogs, and I think this is something I would enjoy and would help them. Eventually I will increase the frequency.. but I'm not stressed about it. I just know I want a change. Someone once told me "If you don't like something about yourself, then fix it."
That I believe will be my mantra for 2012.. "Stay Calm, and fix it" (and not in the doormat way, but in the self-reliant powerful way)
Cheers to a rocky start and a stellar ending!
Happy 2012 everyone!
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