Southern Comfort

Last week my family and I mourned the passing of my Mamaw (my Dad's Mom). Although we all shed tears, I can't truthfully call it a somber experience, my family told stories, laughed at memories, and held each other. I wanted to find a way to honor her memory, but nothing was good enough. My Mamaw was feisty, honest, and the toughest woman I have ever known. So, after much thought I have decided to honor her memory by sharing things she instilled in me; these ideals I hope to pass along to my children that they may know who she was.

1. Family is strength. You draw upon each other for comfort and support, even if you're telling them something you know they don't want to hear. You don't forsake each other, you hold each other up, or there's a whoopin' with your name on it. That is how you survive this life.
2. Respect is not an option. Mamaw taught her children that respect was demanded. Respect your parents, your peers and your elders. This may mean pulling over to the side of the road when a funeral procession passes you, or it may mean setting the table at your parent's house before dinner when you're 27 years old. It's just what you do.
3. Be who you are. No one ever had a doubt about who Mamaw was. She was the same person to a Baptist Preacher as she was to a cashier at a store. You may not have liked what she had to say, but she never balked or tried to hide who she was. She lived to her last day true to her heart.
4. Be brave. I imagine over 79 years that my Mamaw had been involved in a multitude of situations that tested her bravery. She would never back down, she never gave up. Sometimes to the confusion of others, but she was a lioness, and young or old, she fought to protect.
5. Stand in faith. Towards the end my Mamaw said, "Open the gates and let me in." She was ready to go home. She believed in God and was unmoving in her faith. Her sense of right and wrong, her identity as a woman, a mother, and a wife came from faith. It has to be something that is important.
6. Expect the best from others. Notice I didn't say "hope for" or "believe in." I absolutely mean "expect." When children talk back to their parents with no consequences, when men don't keep their word, when women aren't willing to work... these are things that should cause shame. I'd like to think my Mamaw would grab that disobedient child and put the fear of God in him/her. I think she would go up to a lying man and tell him he should be ashamed, and I think she would work right next to a lazy woman just to make sure she did the work right.

My Mamaw and Papaw built a family on these principles, so much so that as their grandchild I can feel the strength in their convictions and desire to be like them. At first I wanted to write about how these ideals are diminishing to make way for apathy, rudeness, and disrespect. Then I realized that my Mamaw would probably prefer that I do something about it rather than complain about it. Because of her and my family I strive to live this way, and because of her I will work hard to make sure any child/children I raise enhance the goodness of our family and the goodness of those around us.

This magazine was printed on the day she was born, I thought it was neat that it had the full date. The art on the cover is beautiful.

Dedicated in loving memory to Betty Jo Ray Efflandt (1932 - 2012)

Elementary my dear Facebook Friend...

OOOOOOOKAY...

In my marriage, I have learned that bottling things up and then exploding later is not the most constructive way to deal with annoyances and frustrations in this life. In honor of that life lesson I am going to have a little vent.

Before I jump off into the deep end, I would like to add a small caveat to that..

In doing this I am not saying that I am perfect, I make typos, I have actually seen e-mails where I have made the mistakes I am about to correct. My intention is to advise, because I genuinely believe that some people are not aware of these rules of grammar... So look out, because..

Homophones - words that sound the same but have different meanings.

Merry and Marry

Bear and Bare

Your and You're

There, Their, and They're

And it is these last two that give me particular paws.. I mean pause ;)

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Your and You're

As a rule of thumb, if you can't substitute "you are" in the sentence, then you should use "Your." Using "your" denotes ownership. Now don't fall asleep on me here, because the difference can be quite easy to spot. Consider the following:

"_____ the best friend I've ever had"

Do you own your friend? I certainly hope not!

Could "you are" fit in the blank? Yes.

See! That was easy right? (...like nails on a freaking chalkboard I swear)

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They're, Their, and There

Now, if you've got a hold on "your" and "you're," then you're 66% of the way to getting this one too.

Think of it like this:

You & They

Your & Their = Ownership, "Is that your cat, or is that their cat?"

You're & They're = 're is the conjunction for adding "are." "You are" and "they are."

Now the final step is that pesky "there." Look at the spelling and take out the root word "here." Placement, location.

"They're taking their dog over there."

They are taking (ownership) their dog over (location) there.

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Okay, so if you have questions please ask. Otherwise I will assume that you understand and as we say in our conference calls, silence is compliance.

So please, make mistakes, slap yourself in the forehead when you make them, but at least make an effort to sound like you were awake through part of elementary school.

"I C U B 4 U C me cuz i h8 ur face" does not immediately signal, "Hey, I'd like to have an invigorating conversation with that person." It says to me, "I have a lot of drama going on, and I hit people to get my point across because words are obviously too difficult for me to use." The word "Neanderthal" comes to mind.

I have to wonder, are these people proud of sounding unintelligent? Do they read? Is it their intention to vex me? If I said that to them would they know what "vex" means?

Things like this:

1 - Capitalize the first letter of a sentence please.

2 - "Their" should be  "they're."

3 - Again, capitalize the first letter of a sentence, please.

4 - "Your" should be "you're."

5 - I'm assuming he/she meant "probably" rather than "probable."

6 - The entire sentence is a paradox. Everyone is a someone. If you're "only jealous" the implication is that you are, actually, incorrect.

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