Good gravy!

I know, I know, its been a while again since my last installment. But it's the holidays, and I have been running around like crazy. It's good and bad because I've got a lot to talk about, but its all over the place. So make some hot cocoa, (add some peppermint schnapps) and cozy up, Christmas is almost here and life is good.

I have been thinking about a lot of things lately, and rather than writing a dissertation on all of them, I am going to write a top 20 list, compiled of things I have discovered, things I like, and things that I believe.

1. Just because you are not a parent, doesn't mean you can't recognize a bad one.
2. Giving more than you think you can, can give you a return that is bigger than you expect.
3. Take care of your skin, your hair and your hands. You'll feel better in your own skin.
4. The squeaky wheel may get the grease, but the greaser is only making the other wheels lazy.
5. It may be hard to keep your thoughts to yourself, but it is a lot harder to un-do making a fool of yourself.
6. Equality is the most important thing in a marriage. This applies to opinions, to kindness, to thoughtfulness and dreams.
7. Having a puppy is one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself.
8. Rude people deserve to be told they are being rude in a calm, polite way, this does not make you a bad person.
9. Take charge of your financial life, because sticking your head in the sand causes unnecessary worry, and it leaves your butt in the air.
10. A politician who tells the truth and has integrity would be the best thing for our us, and much more effective than occupying any place. I fear too many people have lost faith in the system.
11. I adore Texas, the mentality, the simplicity, the stubbornness, and the harshness.
12. It is okay to experience spirituality in ways that are not predetermined.
13. My body is a temple, and I am one heck of a decorator.
14. Owning up to your mistakes and being an honest person is a habit worth developing.
15. There is a special place in Hell for people who hurt children, the elderly, and animals.
16. Learn to accept and give honest compliments.
17. It is OKAY to like terrible music. Regardless of what anyone else says. Ever.
18. Learn new things. Like a new recipe, or a new song. It gives you something to talk about, keeps your mind engaged, and fits into any schedule.
19. People who have to tell you who they are, usually are no where close to their own description.
20. Angels have saved my life at least twice this year. I have no doubt about that.

Hope this encouraged some thought, and maybe inspired a few ideas. Merry Christmas everyone!

The Rustic Revolution

First off, I apologize for my absence over the last few weeks. I have been sans netbook, and the office is not a great inspiration spot for writing. Nevertheless, I have returned with a vengeance. This episode is brought to you by the 'Rustic Revolution" as I am calling it. It is made of two parts observation, one part sociology, and a dash of obsessive compulsiveness. No worries, I am not planning on composing a negative social commentary, but rather praising the resourcefulness of those who attempt to get what they want by making it happen. The Rustic Revolution is fueled by creativity and independent action, perhaps in days to come they will call it the DIY craze. There has been an overwhelming influx of people decorating, cooking, shopping, creating, reusing, and dreaming with a bigger picture in mind. The "Oh, I want that $4000 headboard that looks like an old door" has become, "Look! An old door, I'll make a headboard out of it!" I love that!

People are looking at things differently, How can a lightbulb be a planter? How can a clay pot and clay plate be the most stylish cake server ever? How can paper be a Christmas tree? How can a mason jar be a light fixture? It's all a product of what I consider the 'green obsession' and it all comes from a desire to reuse and recycle, and rather than havng a sterile white and green (or blue) image assigned to it, it is now becoming homey, classy, and fantastic all by using items that are readily available and usually discarded.

Economic downturn and blah blah blah.. Times are always hard for someone somewhere... and I am no stranger to that, but I am a HUGE fan of shutting up and figuring it out. Venting is great, but complaining does nothing for anyone. More on that later.. maybe next week. So what is the result? People are starting to harness their own creativity, their own ability to use two hands to make things they can no longer afford. Bad news for retail, but great for people who like the feeling of accomplishment. Creating something unique and beautiful for yourself, your home, friends, or family has an amazing ability to lift you up. Try it. Make an owl out of a toilet paper roll and see if you don't smile every time you see it... (The website is in Spanish, but you get the idea: http://www.decoideas.net/manualidades-para-decorar-el-arbol-de-navidad/)

TV shows, websites, movies and even music seems to be making a move to the more visceral and basic things that encourage some sort of craftsmanship or new beginnings:

-Nate Berkus - thrifting, saving money, decorating, etc.

-Pinterest (don't get me started)

-The DIY Network
-Everyone in rom coms today owns a cute independent business.. (bakers, florists, writers, etc.)

-New Florence + the Machine hit: Shake it Out (I just really like the song and it deals with the topic so I thought I'd give them a shameless plug)

  

I've always been saddened by the fact that artisans are a rare commodity now. Technically everyone should be able to perform a multitude of functions in today's society, but there's something amiss when you have to suffer through insane price gouging to get something that is well crafted, beautiful, and sturdy. So I am proud that so many are turning to their own abilities, preferring to learn a skill rather than to pay for it. For example, when we moved into our house our cabinets were the most basic builder stock cabinets imaginable.. in other words, they were uuuuuuugly.... so rather than trying to save money to buy new cabinets we painted them ourselves, drilled holes for knobs, and now I love them to pieces. It was frustrating, painful, and at times I thought they were never going to be complete, but now I love showing off my kitchen, because I can remember sitting on the floor trying to get every nook and cranny painted. It made for a good looking kitchen, a good time, and good memories that our friends came over to help us.



Before



After



Now imagine if we had just bought them and had someone come in and install them. They would still be beautiful, but so impersonal... As a side note, I do realize that I am not all of the sudden an expert cabinet painter, but it made me feel great knowing that all we paid was the cost of primer, paint, and $20 for the knobs. (Pack of 25 from Home Depot)

So in the light of encouraging the ability of the self I am offering a list of resources for things that I enjoy using to learn about, figure out, and fill up my spare time with.

General

Believe it or not - Google. http://www.google.com/  Google is great, for figuring out things like "how do I apply folder settings universally in outlook" (totally did that one this week). It seems that when technology is involved most people just assume they can't figure it out, but how do you think computer geniuses get the answers to questions even they don't know? Answer: forums! Google links to all types of forums ranging from technology to child-bearing, to making bird houses. Google provides us all with instant answers to the who, what, when, where, and why, but it also is a great resource for finding out what type of materials to use when making all sorts of DIY projects.

Pinterest - http://www.pinterest.com/   It's the modern alternative to the shopping mall of the 80s. It's ideas, collaboration, comedy, cooking, organization, ideas, and anything else you can imagine. Just type in anything from "owls" to "apples" and find a bjillion ideas from sites that are actually recommended by a real person. Also, part of the addictivenesss is that others can repost your "pins" and you get an e-mail summary of all the things you like, that other people now like too. So you kind of feel like a rock star. If you need an invitation let me know at semurphree@gmail.com

Dollar Store Crafts - http://www.dollarstorecrafts.com/ this is a great website for cheap DIY ideas. sometimes it a hit or miss but the database of ideas is ridiculous and some of them are lifesavers for parties, gifts, and things like that.

Home Decor - for guys and gals

The DIY Network/HGTV shows - Bath Crashers, House Crashers, Design on a Dime (We watched these channels religiously before we moved into our house. It was fun to dream together and talk about what we wanted in our new house)

Pinterest - A conglomeration of links to websites with great ideas for products DIY and everything else.

IKEA - although  not known for amazing quality the IKEA catalog is a wealth of inspiration for arranging, designing and decorating. To defend their furniture, our couch is from IKEA and it's literally the most comfortable piece of furniture in our living room.  http://www.ikea.com/

For paint and design color palates - go to the behr website (http://www.behr.com/) and underneath "Find your color" launch the Colorsmart tool. Its a great way to play with color, and there's even a mobile app!

Primping - For the gals

You Tube - http://www.youtube.com/  When I get frustrated or bored with my hair, I like to watch hair tutorials to get different ideas on how to style, braid, dye, or otherwise alter my hair. just search for hair tutorials and start browsing, you'll like it. They also have make-up tutorials and such.

Blogs - there are tons of great blogs out there about make-up and hair, and I wouldn't say I have seen most of them, but I did find one I like: http://www.kelsidoeshair.com/

Shopping - For the gals

Courtesy of my awesome sister "The Lucky Shopping Manual." This gives you tons of ideas for building and expanding upon a stellar wardrobe. It gives you item and quantity for every item of clothing a gal can have and how to mix it and match it in ways that create more outfits than you may think you have.

Please let me know if you have something that you like to check out for DIY ideas. I'm always looking for new things to check out.

Well, here comes the zombie apocalypse...

So, being a little slow on the uptake at times, I have just gotten into the AMC series The Walking Dead. Like many other zombie shows it is riddled with gruesome death, intense chase scenes, heartbreaking loss, and exceptionally relieving moments of comedy. I watched the first episode with disdain when it initially came out, because it was really too intense for me. I couldn't deal with a man looking through the scope of his rifle and seeing his wife walking around as a dead cannibalistic predator. But I got over it.

I watched the first season as it was recapped before the premiere of season 2, and it just kept getting better and better. I am happy to say that I am completely up to date on the series and I cannot wait until the next episode this Sunday. So with that aside I want to stress that watching a zombie series has seriously warped me. I have always enjoyed a good "B" Zombie movie and George A. Romero is somewhat of a hero in my book of horror movie legends.

Before I dive into that, I would like to ask why in the world are the people in the series continually fixing a broken down Winnebago, when the entirety of automotive selection is available, abundant, and free. Can anyone help me with this? This is definitely one instance where Zombieland had the upper hand. Why are they not armed to the teeth? If you know that guns and loud noises draw zombies, why did it take until season 2 to arm people with some serious blades? I just don't get it... but I digress.

What has taken over my brain with a severe vengeance is the residual effect of watching, and being affected by, a tv series that revolves around death. I have acquired a sense of dread concerning my loved ones. Every time traffic slows down on my way to work I freak out and call my husband, sister, Mom, Dad, or best friend to make sure they're okay. It creates a genuine sense of dread, and I find myself daydreaming about horrible things. So all in all, I'm not entirely convinced that I made the best decision in diving into this series. Without taking into consideration my completely persuadable subconscious self, I have been devising a list of things I would do in the event of the zombie apocalypse.





So here it is, in true Halloween fashion, the to do list for the zombie apocalypse, Smurphtastic style:

1. Get access to the largest and newest hybrid crossover vehicle. The size will help with storage and the fuel efficiency will help to eliminate the need for constant refueling. The new factor will help eliminate the possibility of breaking down.
2. Obtain an arsenal of stabbing and slashing weapons. Also ranged weapons. Crossbows, rifles, handguns, hunting knives, etc. I'd like to thank D&D and my nerd days for a range of knowledge about various weaponry.
3. Load up on food and water, if possible have an entire SUV loaded with nothing but food rations and water.
4. In any spare moment should be spent practicing and learning how to effectively use said weapons.
5. Learn how to hot wire a car, never under estimate the power of your local library.
6. Locate and bring together as many of my friends and family as I can. Aside from my general care for them, each person has an imperative skill or ability that would keep us alive longer.
7. Once I and everyone I could get together are armed, equipped, and ready to move I would recommend that we go as far into the country as possible. I would want to find a place that is open, flat, and has a lot of visibility. Set up a perimeter alarm system and organize a watch schedule.

One of the biggest mistakes I think people make in zombie movies is either moving too much or not enough. People who continually look for 'safe havens' are inevitably going to or going through places where others are trying to get to. The more people there are, the more likely you will be surrounded by the infection or the infected. Stay away from others and you stand a better chance of keeping your group safe. If you stay in the same place too long, you get attached, comfortable, and lazy, and as we all know, in zombie planet... lazy = dead.

So what would you do in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Ever considered a plan of action? Either way, I hope it never happens. Even more, I hope that you have a safe, happy, and scare-tastic Halloween!

Response Required

Good.Mess! It is possible that the basis for the following rant is skewed due to the fact that I exist in a constant state of "go."  Nevertheless, I will rant anyway. Most people nowadays work on a system of instantaneous information and response. If you would like to see the newest music video from that super hot band you're obsessed with, you don't have to watch hours of MTV hoping it will come on. You go to youtube and watch it instantly. Declining an invitation doesn't even require direct contact anymore, you can just click "No" and BAM! awkwardness averted. E-mail isn't fast enough, we have to have IM programs, the cycle continues...

Believe it or not, I am not in opposition to these new-fangled-technologies. I absolutely love them. However, I have created an irreconcilable problem for myself. I operate under the exceptionally incorrect assumption that everyone else operates with the same response time that I do.  I am slowly learning from my mistake and realizing that patience is good, but nagging is better. When I have a question and reach out to someone for an answer, if I don't get a response I usually wait, and wait, and wait. This has really never produced good results for me. So, in the light of helping others I think I may have to change tactics.

I think I would prefer this as a response:
_________________________________
Dear Smurphtastic,

You are annoying me to death. I am working on your request please get your underwear out of a wad and wait a moment so I can assemble your response. Please reference the attached picture as an accurate depiction of how I imagine you.



Thank you,

Annoyed Person
__________________________________

I would probably laugh at that response, but honestly at least it is a form of communication. I would much rather be told to hold my horses than to open an inbox to the sound of crickets. I need to invent a mailbox that plays the sound of crickets when you open it and it is empty. Dibs on the patent, it's officially mine!!

From the message above I got two things:
1. I am not talking to the infinite depths of space and
2. There is a response happening, I don't have to wonder if I'm waiting on hope or action. (Action is always preferred.)

So readers, I ask you, do you expect unrealistic responses from people? How do you manage wondering if anything is happening, against worrying that you are annoying the crap out of people? Hence the magic creation of the "Got it" e-mail. C'est la vie I suppose, perhaps I will have grown up expectations one of these days :)

I hope you guys have a very productive and responsive week, hugs and kisses,

Mama Smurphtastic

Homage to Black and Blue

From Joni Mitchell's album "Blue"

Blue songs are like tattoos
You know I've been to sea before
Crown and anchor me
Or let me sail away

Music has played such an integral part in my life that I know for a fact I would not be the same person without it. When I was young I remember going to church and my favorite part of the service was always the hymns. I could close my eyes and hear the power behind the song and (not to get too personal or prophetic) I can honestly say it was the basis for my spirituality. Throughout high school that love ventured into more secular tastes, and I discovered modern poets and the fact that people can get paid obscene amounts of money for having absolutely no talent at all.

I have to agree with the initial sentiment in Joni's lyrics. Songs are like tattoos. They seep into your skin and stick with you, like a comforting friend when you're blue, a joyful companion when you are happy, and a counselor when you don't know which way to turn. Music is why I started playing the oboe in 8th grade and was involved in band for more than half of my life.

Don't worry, I don't plan on sounding all "lord of the rings" (as my husband would say) but I do want to take a moment and illuminate an artist I think deserves a pretty good glance, or listen as the case may be.

Homage to Black

The Man in Black. Johnny Cash. Johnny Cash was one of the most versatile artists in the business. He could sing gospel and people would buy it, he could sing a song about shooting a woman and people would buy it, he could remake songs by Nine Inch Nails, Depeche Mode, and Simon and Garfunkel and it went platinum. His range is something unmatched my any artist since, he is universally recognized, and dearly missed. Johnny Cash was no saint, this is true, but I think there is always something to be said for a man who tries to 'walk the line.' He is a great reminder that a person who gives effort can overcome anything by always trying to be better than they are. Adding humor and kindness can make a long-lived life an example to those who fight a constant struggle within themselves. Johnny Cash poured himself into his songs despite what judgement he might have received. He wrote songs, and performed songs written by others that (I believe) held meaning with him, especially later in life.

From "The Mercy Seat" written by Nick Cave, performed by Johnny Cash:

And the mercy seat is waiting
And I think my head is burning
And in a way I'm yearning
To be done with all this weighing of the truth.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth
And anyway I told the truth
And I'm not afraid to die

Tammy Faye and the New "C-Word"

I'm afraid that my posts will soon become much more focused as I will not have had nearly as much time to gorge myself on the spoutings of various fabulous stations. For the time being however, I would like to speak again on two topics. The amazingly glamorous Tammy Faye and the Hollywood craze of creating words that are taboo.

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Tammy Faye Bakker
1942-2007

Tamara Faye LeValley Bakker Messner... When I was growing up I can remember seeing her on the televangelist channels I thought she reminded me of my Mamaw. They looked alike, and I guess the similarities sparked a sort of admiration. That's about as far as my feelings for Tammy Faye went. I remember the stories of televangelists like the Bakkers and the Tiltons who were rumored to only be interested in soliciting millions of dollars from their faithful followers and then later being charged of misappropriating funds. I believed they were justly charged and judged them accordingly as 'false prophets' for lack of a better term.  Today I saw a documentary about Tammy Faye that changed my mind.

Tammy Faye was a small town girl in a city that was too big for her. I believe that she was surrounded by wolves and just wanted to enlighten and lift people up. I do think that she enjoyed the spoils of a successful business, as she sported Coach earrings, and other designer apparel but I do not believe that it was her intention to use faith as a method to further her own personal gain. I love the simplicity of Tammy Faye. She may not have been the brightest person, or the strongest, but I do think that she had a good heart, and I'm glad that I changed my mind about her.

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The new "C" word.....

As an addendum to last weeks post about cursing I have been more in-tune with finding things that people view as offensive.  I caught myself watching The Real Housewives of New York and one of the characters is attempting to start a record career. Have you heard of this craziness? The Countess Luann has two songs available on YouTube for your displeasure. I'll let you do the search if you really are that much of a masochist. What really interests me was the reaction to her first song "Money can't buy you class." See what Anderson Cooper has to say on the subject:

Although comical, an interesting new idea has popped up in the midst of Cooper's tirade. Class is apparently the new "C" word. This bothers me on two levels. First, the whole PC thing is waaay out of hand. Soon we will have to come up with an entirely new language of pseudonyms and pronouns to speak about anything that doesn't wish to be "labelled" by a certain word.  "I think the term 'woman' has a negative connotation so I would like to therefore, and from this point on, be known as a shiskaflart, because I find it a less threatening term." It's insanity to think that the word "class" either in reference to the ability to maintain integrity, or as a division of a culture by socioeconomic standards is a negative word. It's a word that serves a purpose. The issue is when people view others as less important or less of a human being because of a difference in so called "class." It's not the word that is negative, it is the way people choose to use it.

Problem numero dos: so far, in the evolution of the word "class" the only people who are offended by it are the people who are on shows like The Real Housewives. Like a true philanthropist, it is their duty to protect the fragile emotions of the little people. The assumption is arrogant, annoying, and truthfully has made me look in disdain to those who would try to protect the feelings of others. I think the part that really got to me is that one of the other housewives, Alex, hopped on the "C" word bandwagon. Quick to judge, and from someone as influential as Anderson Cooper, didn't stop to give a second thought as to whether or not someone who can give criticism is actually turning it into judgement.

Decorum and side notes

Language, and consideration are the topics of the day. I don't really consider this as much of a venting as it is a statement of fact. I would, first off, like to state that I have completed the "Big Love" series, and feel as though I have been released from an odd coma of sorts. I appreciate the experience, but have no desire to repeat it any time soon. While I appreciate any form of art or entertainment that can unsettle me so much, I am relieved to be done with it. So on to other things... like my own observations on different areas of the big bad world.
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Language

I can remember when I was little, if I said "crap" I would get my mouth washed out with soap. On one rather unfortunate day we did not have bar soap so I got to swish around a bit of liquid soap. I can't remember what I said, but I can bet I didn't say it again. Swearing is a bit of a double edged sword. I cannot honestly say that I do not do it, but I can say that I try to be respectful of the fact that others may not feel that it is an acceptable practice. The key is to be respectful of the feelings of others, and I feel this comes into play the most on a place where words come from every direction... facebook.

It doesn't matter if your favorite team lost a game, it does not matter if you're overly enthusiastic or incredibly angry. An intelligent person can usually forge a two sentence update without dropping a f*bomb in the middle of it. The way I look at it, if I don't feel comfortable saying it to my parent's face, then I shouldn't say it in virtual public. Perhaps that is what so many people have a difficult time understanding. Although friends must be approved and all that jazz, people must forget that it's not just some good ol' drinking buddies sittin' at a table who can read your posts. It's parents, teachers, parent's friends, grandparents and the list goes on... So I implore you, think about what you put out there, think about the person you are displaying for everyone to read. Without being considerate of the perceptions of others, you may just lose some of those friends in more ways than one.

Another minor complaint about facebook - If you are going to verbally attack someone, then please refrain from making an anonymous gripey post. For example, if you're mad at Person A then pick up the phone and call Person A with your complaints. Posting something like:

"I don't know who you think you are, but you cant just talk to me like that! I hope negative and terrible things happen to you because I'm emotional and I can sound big an angry, but in reality I just want this to make you mad too rather than confronting you directly."

I can see the comedic hypocrisy in the fact that I am not addressing who is doing this, but this is my house, and I'm allowed to gripe without judgement, haha! How do you like them apples?!?

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Consideration (and a rather severe subject change)

While I am not exceptionally versed in politics, as I will readily admit, I do try to inform myself prior to elections rather than making a decision based on party alliances. I feel that there is a great revolution approaching, and while I will not be hollowing out a basement or purchasing mass quantities of canned goods I can say that I am taking more caution when making decisions about the future of my life. I think of the "Elizabeth" movies (the ones with Cate Blanchett) taking into consideration that I am basing history on a movie, I think how powerful leaders can be. I want there to be a leader with the ability to make the right decisions, someone who cares more for the people than for lobbyists, and someone who can be just and relentless. Man or woman, black or white, I hope that this time around there will be more than words, but actions that deliver change. Someone who will be looked upon in the future, as the person who brought together what felt like a crumbling foundation.

There was a quote I read somewhere that said if you don't learn about politics you're uninformed, if you do learn about politics then you're misinformed.

Thoughts?

Bigotry and a warm cup of coffee

Fighting, predictions, superstitions, and terror. Fear mongers seem to operate on a system of oppression and suppression of knowledge. In societies, or in groups of people, where there is isolation, there is usually a leader who fears losing power. One of the most frustrating things about this phenomenon is the effect of the followers. People who follow so completely that they never stop to question whether their leader is moral, upstanding, or even intelligent. The conditions that are inflicted upon these mindless followers are not only defended by their peers and dogmatic practices, but are perpetuated by the victims themselves. It is absolutely infuriating to watch.



Ok, grasshoppah, take a deep breath and I will tell you where this is coming from. I have started watching a new series, called Big Love. It started out with a devious curiosity, morphed into a tirade of raging injustice, and continues with a sense of overall conflict. The premise of the show is that of a polygamist family. One man, three wives, 7 children with another on the way. It would take far too long to go into the plot of the series, but there is a fundamental problem I have.

If I were to read the history of man from beginning to end, came to the chapter that covers 2011 and saw that there were still religious wars being fought I would probably say "Seriously? Are we still on this, come on guys, really?" If oppressive conversion worked we would have achieved a universal religion by now. There are even factions of the same religion that agree on some parts, but not all parts. Those who fight for peace cannot even find peace under the same religious banner. I do have fundamental arguments with polygamy, but while playing out this argument in my head I got caught in a rather disturbing catch 22.

One of the characters on the show says "We're polygamists Bill, hiding is a part of our lives." They believe that they are living righteous lives, but they cannot live their life in the light. They also force their children to lie, deny their family members in public, and the 'sister-wives' are not allowed to have friends outside the family for risk of exposure. Not in all cases was it the choices of those involved to participate in a plural marriage. Forcing practices on unwilling participants is torture. If someone doesn't believe what you believe does it then become your mission to convert them? Hence the age old phrase "It's none of your business." However, it is a concern in this community that young girls will be married before having a chance to build a life for themselves, or being at a legal age to consent to marital relations. So there is also an element of needing to be involved in order to protect the innocent. Hence the catch 22.

Civil liberties should allow people to practice their religion, beliefs, and way of life without being attacked on the basis of dogmatic arguments. However, there are other laws in place that protect the innocent, and when many of these laws are broken there may  be a certain invasion of privacy or a challenge of what some may call civil liberties in order to bring the entirety of the law breaking into the light.  So despite the millions of arguments I've got with the interactions and practices of this new series I've recklessly entered into, rather than judging these actors for the people they represent I have instead decided to think about how I can examine my own opinions to further understand my own beliefs. That way if I am asked to speak and defend what I think, I can speak confidently from my own sense of truth.

The Smurphtastic Soap Box

Allrighty readers.. There are a few things I would like to discuss today with a little stance on the Smurphtastic Soap Box. Originally it was just an idea, but my buddy, who prefers to be known as "Captain America," told me I should say something about it.

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 Mel Train-wreck Gibson
For a long time I was a huge fan of Mel Gibson, he was bright-eyed, genuine, and a great actor. Despite moderately recent events, he still is. I watched "Edge of Darkness" last night for the first time and all I can remember thinking was that the movie would have been so much better if he had not gone all crazy on his wife. I couldn't separate the actions of the person from the actor. It is really unfortunate that he chose to go bonkers, because he really is talented. It's hard to like him when I know in real life he's completely psycho.

Aside from Mel himself, the review of the movie said that Mel's character was only out for revenge, but after his daughter was killed he uncovered a major corporation's illegal activities that eventually lead to her death. He was a detective he spent his career solving crimes, so he was supposed to stop when someone murdered his daughter? Yeah revenge was a driving force, but it was the character's job to sort out violent crimes, so the synopsis made the fact that he was a detective seem like an unimportant side-note. Gah!  First of all, a movie synopsis should not commentate on the movie itself! What the heck is that all about! I've seen movie information that labels it as "droll" or "unnecessarily long." Your only job is to tell me if I should expect to see people get shanked, fall in love, or run out of buildings that are blowing up. If you want to be a critic, save it for the papers (or a blog, hehe)

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Unselling Sales-people

If it is your job to sell a product, then you should know all about it. Inform customers, and let them make a decision. I went to go buy a tablet of some sort, and wound up buying a HP Mini netbook. While I was in the store, I heard a sales person talking about how horrible HP products were and how consumers should stick to other models of computers. Every computer I have purchased has been an HP, not only have I not had problems with them, but I was completely insulted by the fresh-out-of-high-school sales person who was trying to tell this poor couple why the computer they were looking at was a bad option.

While in one store a salesperson tried to talk me out of a computer I was looking at, he started to explain to me what RAM was and what the differences in processors were. I had already researched the computer and knew exactly what I wanted. I found out later they were out of stock. Rather than telling me that, he simply tried to talk me into a more expensive model.

When I was in sales, I never tried to force a sale, or tried to lie to people about what they wanted. Every sale I made, I felt good about. I knew that my customers had every piece of information I had, so they could make the right decision for them. And you know what? They came back... Which is more than I can say for the gentleman I encountered in my shopping experience. BAM!

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Ok, last one, I promise



Breast Cancer Aware-mess
I will forever support and admire those who participate in the fight against breast cancer. Over the last two years or so, there have been campaigns launched through emails or facebook messages to post something obscure and misleading to show support for breast cancer. "I like it on the kitchen floor." In this instance women were told to make their status updates "I like it..." then put where their purse currently is.

Various campaigns like this one have since been launched. In the messages explaining the game, there are usually directions to keep it a secret from men. My main complaint is not with the campaign themselves, but with the fact that they exclude men. My reasoning is that men are not only able to suffer from breast cancer, but they are not exempt from the pain this cancer causes. They lose wives, daughters, sisters, and friends to this horrible disease and for some reason these 'campaigns' choose to exempt them from not only participating but from knowing what the heck all of these crazy women are talking about. The newest one that I've seen tells you to put a number and a candy based on your birth date... "I am XX weeks, and I am craving (Candy)." Imagine reading that on your wife's page and having no idea what she is talking about.

In conclusion I would like to say that "I am 12 weeks and I am craving Strawberry Pop Tarts" because I support the fight against breast cancer and my birthday is August 25.

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Did you make it all the way through?? Wow! I'm proud of you! And yes, I would like some cheese with my whine :)

What digs under your skin and drives you bonkers? Consider this your formal invitation to vent :)

While we're on the subject, could we change the subject now?

After a three week hiatus I realized I haven't been contributing anything to either of my blogs. Which is simply inexcusable. I've decided to reduce my posts to one a week, which will hopefully help the gap. As a catch up I want to share what I've been doing and what I've discovered in the past few weeks we've been apart. So snag a cup of coffee, because this one is going to be a doosey!

Crafts Extraordinaire!
Being unemployed you think of things to do with your spare time. As I've mentioned before I have trouble with my hands being idle. It just bothers me, so lo and behold I have invented some new crafts.Our DVD burner that was hooked up to our TV broke. So we had like 40 DVDs that we couldn't watch anymore. After about a week of sulking I decided to use them for art, they have such a lovely shade of purple on the back, and they're shiny so it only made sense. I separated the protective clear layer from the reflective layer of the disc and cut the disc into strips. Then using a spare piece of wood I glued the shards to it using elmer's glue. I went to the dollar store and bought some ribbon and cheap frames. I stapled the ribbons to the frame and 2x4 and VIOLA! A decorative piece of wall art. See?

Movies
Ok, so not all of my time has been spent busying my idle hands, I have had some couch potato time.

Mildred Pierce
But I am glad to say it was not wasted time, because what I watched was intelligent, and moving, and 5 hours long. Thanks to HBO GO I watched a mini series named "Mildred Pierce." I didn't realize until I did some research on it that it was actually a remake of a film noir made in the 1940s. It starred Kate Winslet as a single mother in the 1930s. She started her own business after working as a waitress. Keeping in mind this was right after the depression and the golden age, one of her main struggles was with her oldest daughter, Veeta, who as a young girl displays qualities of arrogance and pride that make you want to slap her. Without revealing too much lets just say that Mildred's indulgences of her daughter lead her to commit various types betrayal and treachery.

After I finished watching the 5 hour mini series, I had one question left. "What was the point of all that?"  I think that the best thing I got out of "Mildred Pierce" was the definition of pride. For Mildred, pride was determining what you would and would not settle for. She had to determine if wearing a uniform to work was worth putting food on the table for her two children. She wanted to be loved for herself and not for her money, which her 2nd beau did not prove to her very well. Mildred's idea of pride was a good home, doing the right thing, and working hard. To her daughter, Veeta, pride was luxury. Pride was not talking to someone because they were below her status, it was lying to get money because she 'deserved' a certain lifestyle. She was absolutely insufferable.

The story did not really touch on religion or morality, as Mildred herself lacked better judgement at times. The story touched on mother/daughter relationships, but more so it was a warning of the encouragement of pride. Translating it from pride in work done, to pride in deeds owed. The series is nominated for tons of Emmys. On the note of reviews I have to post this, I saw it on the wikipedia page for Mildred Pierce:

"Novelist Stephen King, reviewing Mildred Pierce for The Daily Beast and Newsweek, praised the acting of Winslet, Pearce and Wood and admired the show's attention to detail and structure,^[6] but complained that the five-hour adaptation was "too damn long"."

Stephen King, really?? Too long?? "Hi, I'd like to sit down for a short movie, let's watch The Stand. Because it's so short..."

Going the Distance

OK ,  I know this is a stereotypical rom-com (as I'm dubbing them), but this was a genuinely good movie. Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are a genuinely good couple. It's not a mind-blowingly great film, but it's happy. It's a better love story than I've seen in a while (more realistic at least), and they're not so obsessed with each other that watching them live on opposite sides of the country is like a short recap of P.S. I love you. (Which no one should ever see in their right mind, ever... I cried throughout the ENTIRE movie. no joke)

It also introduced me to a new music group which I will in turn introduce to you!

Music

From the movie I heard this little indie folk band from England called "The Boxer Rebellion." They seem to be part of this wave of indie awesomeness that I am only recently tapping into. Artists like Adele, Mumford and Sons, Interpol, Metric, Ray La Montagne, and now these guys.  At first listen they have a sound kind of like the Shins, but not all of their songs sound that way. Here's a video so you have to check them out now...

And that's what I've been up to for these past three weeks, I've also have birthday parties, a few interviews, and some other events and gatherings. But you are officially up to speed, so I hope to be more consistent for here on out, but it was nice catching up with you :)

The Hunger Games

I recently finished reading The Hunger Games trilogy and I have to say that it was an excellent series by Suzanne Collins. I do not wish to divulge the plot, but imagine a futuristic environment run by a sadistic tyrannical government and a teenage girl becoming the symbol of a revolution. It sounds like such a simple soup, but add to it the fact that entire communities must sacrifice two of their children in a sick sport that forces them to fight to the death, and a society that makes the rich richer, and the poor silent.


The injustice of the society is enough to make anyone keep reading. Never mind that the heroine is not only emotionally unstable, but fiercely determined, caring, and simple. In other words, realistic.


It echoes The Giver by Lois Lowry, where there is one person in the society who is responsible for knowing the horrors and truths of their reality. Or perhaps The Lottery  by Shirley Jackson, in which a community draws names for who will be stoned to death. The oppression of the government in these stories is suffocating, and while it comforts us that our government is not rationing our food, or enforcing a curfew, or assigning us jobs, it does make us fear for the loss of basic civil liberties. There must always be a willingness to stand in resolve and fight.


The interesting thing I did not see coming from The Hunger Games trilogy was the stark representation of what I would consider city and country life. I haven't flattened all the corners on the paper I'm uncovering, but here's the start to my mental thesis. Those of the Capitol were dyed, tattooed, well fed, and had names like Glimmer, Gloss, Cashmere, Marvel, . The people of the poorer districts had names that displayed their relationship to nature:
The girls named after plants - Primrose and Katniss
The baker boy named Peeta (Pita) an ancient slightly leavened bread which has recipes dating back to antiquity
Gale - A stong wind
Countless obvious others: Tigris, Boggs, Hazelle, Seeder, Mason, Clove


Some other interesting names of note are:
Lavinia - a girl turned into an Avox is a interesting reference to Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus. They were both stripped of the ability to speak and left unable to name their enemies or the atrocities committed to them.


Rue - "to feel sorrow over; repent of; regret bitterly: to rue the loss of opportunities." Foreshadowing, and also that Rue was a main catalyst for Katniss. In other words, her sorrow (Rue) was her strength. 


Snow - the main antagonist, but wait! This is more of a nature term right? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the other nature-names relate to heat, passion, or spring. Katniss was the girl on fire, so who is her most likely adversary? Snow. Nice Collins, very nice. Simple, succinct, and obvious without being pretentious.


The story is wonderful, powerful, and made me feel like I needed to start training for a marathon, because if the world fell apart I would wish I had.  But, beneath the obvious call to action and to open our eyes, was the ingenious word play that kept catching my eye and made me read all three books in a matter of days. There was a great quote which I will paraphrase (because I can't find it at the moment):

The people of Panem traded their civil liberties for the promise of full bellies and security.

It makes sense that people will forego their own happiness in order to see the safety of their loved ones and children, but Collins poses the question of the limit of acceptance. Will you allow your children to risk a greater chance at death games to feed your family? To fight in games that are supposed to remind you what life was like without the current government?

I appreciate Collins' ability to make this more than a political thriller, it's smart. Katniss is relate-able, because you can appreciate her indecision, her depression, her sorrow, and her power. She was not born a leader, she was made one through her desire to 'do the right thing.' Her conviction is absolute and sometimes slow coming, but whether her actions result in the death of thousands, or the redemption of mankind, the display of her internal struggle is realistic, even when her situation is not.

There's so much to these books, and I greatly enjoyed reading them. If you haven't I would definitely recommend it, you won't be able to put it down.

Conspiracy Theories

Superstition is a bit of an inconvenience for those who like to journey out in public. Various psychoses ranging from anxiety to agoraphobia can make someone suspect that everyone has ulterior motives. Some people look for signs that the sky is falling or ancient calendars that tell them when the world will end. You can be the most objective and logical person, but even then there can be a desire to see a pattern in the madness, a reason for the chaos.

This is something I plan to research in the near future. Theories of chaos versus order, in my mind this has nothing to do with religion because the search is not for the answer to “why.” The search is for the answer to “how.” How do stories and people interlock and what is the effect on the general population. For example, the man (that term is used exceptionally generously) who killed half of his family at his son’s birthday party in Grand Prairie was actually only one of several shootings that took place across the nation, not even to include the horror in Oslo. Why is that? Was it the cycle of the moon? The angle of the sun on the earth? What made at least 4 killers strike on the same weekend? Is there a sign there? Is it providence or coincidence?

Most of the population could probably consider this as a random attack. I do not believe that the murderers were acting in tandem, but I do lend an ear to the crazy banter that there could be a driving force behind the timing of everything. The chaos theory implies that although every facet of an environment and intended action can be known there is no absolute way to determine the outcome. (My very preliminary study... that is). I do not attempt to philosophically disprove almost 150 years of study, testing, and the conclusions of minds much smarter than my own, but I do have a feeling that there is something to find underneath coincidence. Not why they happen, but how they are linked together.

I think I will begin my research in three main fields, and I will need help with recommendations:

1. The Chaos Theory – to have a better understanding of what it is, what it applies to, and what studies have been done with it.
2. Mysticism – to have a grasp on the theories and practices of “seers.” I’ve always been interested in the teachings of shamans and healers. It’s exceptionally difficult to find scholarly studies on the topic though. Most books focus on the attempt to re-create the acts; I just want to know how it works.
3. History of Criminology – There seems to be a pattern in the psychoses of violent, criminal minds. History can lend some insight to timing and environment, but I would like to have a better understanding of the circumstance surrounding events that can be viewed as earthshattering, striking, or at least, similar.

I don’t have access to a college library anymore, so I would appreciate any recommendations. Truthfully outside the UNT library I’m not even sure where to look for scholarly articles and studies on these topics. If you know of a good reference section I would appreciate it. I will probably go to Recycled Books on the square in Denton for sure to check out their 3 stories of books. Any help is appreciated!

Why I <3 George R.R. Martin

To those die-hard fans out there, brace yourselves. I have not yet read A Dance with Dragons. My husband has it from Audible, and I will be listening to it after I have listened to books 3 and 4 again. I have read the books countless times, but it seems the minute details fall through the cracks after a few years on the shelf. As anyone who reads George R.R. Martin can tell you, the details are of paramount importance. So I am brushing up my knowledge of Westeros and the land beyond the narrow sea so that I will not ask myself “Who was ____ again?” when I read the newest installation. The first season on HBO was epic, and if you haven’t seen it I strongly urge you to check it out. (Be forewarned, it is HBO, so I wouldn’t recommend watching it around squeamish or easily-offended people. Well, now that I think about it… its HBO and George R.R. Martin, so you might as well just hop in the hand basket to Hades.)

George R.R. Martin is by far one of the most frustrating and amazing writers I have ever experienced. I’m sure that many readers have their favorite characters, as do I, but the amazing thing to me is that the complexity of each player in the Game of Thrones comes from a singular brain. One person created the intelligence of Tyrion Lannister, the foresight of Petyr Baelish, the valor of Daenerys Targaryen, and the ruthlessness of Stannis Baratheon. All of these characters, plus about 63 pages worth of more characters, came from the same brain, which means that Martin has the ability to out-think all of them. GAH!

I read an article from the New York Times about the release of the new novel.

“The elements of fantasy exist here but are deftly muted, as Mr. Martin defies genre conventions. He’s often more intrigued by the friction among conflicting religions, by the Kremlinology of Westeros, in the “plots, ploys, whispers, lies, secrets within secrets” that make of up “the game of thrones.” All the while his medieval realms ring with echoes of our own time, of our modern terrorscapes that rage with liars, spies and true believers.”Dana Jennings July 14, 2011 (link: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/15/books/a-dance-with-dragons-by-george-r-r-martin-review.html”)

Although Martin created an entirely new world with its own seasons, landscape, creatures, and kingdoms, surprisingly, that is not where the bulk of his intrigue is. He has crafted each character so carefully that readers can identify them without Martin mentioning their name. Even after that he has the courage to build a character from nothing, make the reader fall in love with him/her he will do the unthinkable... like lopping of their head, or having them killed in some other ruthless way. I love that he has the mind, the courage, and the ability to tell his avid readers more about the complexities of his character’s lives. I just wish it didn’t take 500 years for the next book.

I suppose that is part of Martin’s genius. He gave his readers time to spread the word, whisper about a possible TV show, gathered thousands of followers through his series, and then BLAM! Released the 5^th book. Perhaps he was invoking a little of Baelish when he devised his path to success. As we know by now, he has the clear ability to plan ahead. This is why I have no qualms re-reading the 3rd and 4th book before diving into the newest release. It may be quite a while before the 6^th book comes out, so what’s the hurry?

Another blog... REALLY!?!?!

I've been working on a professional blog to help market myself and steer my career towards something I really enjoy doing. I am going to create an online portfolio of sorts but I wanted to get your opinion first. I designed everything, and have not uploaded the portfolio yet.

If you get a moment will you check it out and leave feedback for me here? I only intend to share the link to this blog on facebook so I don't over inundate my friends with posts.

I appreciate you guys taking the time to read this blog and checking out the new one too, it really means a lot to me :)

Here is the link: http://stephaniemurphree.blogspot.com/

Braving the concrete jungle.

I have always loved the country. Open spaces, fresh air, lots of animals, and an innate sense of childhood mischief and adventure. Who could say no to that? Necessity has dragged me out of my childhood haven and into a concrete jungle. At first it wasn’t so bad, the campus at UNT in Denton was open, and lovely, I couldn’t even drive to the school without passing pastures and such. Then I started working in Coppell with its perfectly mowed lawns and uptight suburban SUV’s. Now it’s Irving, and even though a far cry from Dallas, it is still enough city to make me wish I could work from home.

It is on that note that I would like to make a few statements about commuting from the small town of Haslet, to the great-medium- city of Las Colinas. Many of these comments will pertain to other areas, I am sure, but to those who drive in my vicinity – look out – or you may see your behaviors plastered on the walls of my inter-web soap box!

On the idea of Merging:  Normally I would say this is a simple driving maneuver. At least it seems as such when my driving instructor went over it a little over a decade ago. Put on your turn signal, check your mirrors, check your blind spot, carefully merge into the desired lane, and turn off the turn signal. This apparently is more difficult than I originally had thought. It seems that if you want to come over, and I am in your way, well I had better move. How dare I!?!? Try to drive to work safely! BAH! I am so glad I have your subtle reminder - oh ye driver of a F-4000 to put me back in my place. I might have actually considered myself important for a second there! Thank goodness you were there to ‘squarsh that bug.’

On the idea of Reading:  I would like to that most drivers will read warning signs, however I think that most drivers just consider them colorful road-side decorations. Signs are a wonderful thing. Signs that tell you your lane is ending give you warnings that there’s a flagger up ahead or even tell you where Wagner’s Meat store is “You can’t beat Wagner’s Meat!”  (Seriously, that is a slogan and billboard somewhere in Louisiana, I have a picture). As long as it is in the vicinity of the road, read all you want to! Why some people are able to read a text, respond to it, and not kill themselves is a mystery to me. These same people however, cannot read a sign that tells them their lane ends, and so they try to cram in at the last second, while scoffing at the poor suckers who waited in line, not realizing that they are the source of the line in the first place. It’s rude, it’s inconsiderate, and don’t expect me to look shocked when you get all angry that I didn’t let you in.

On the idea of speeding I am by no means guiltless of speeding. I have upon occasion, and of my own free will, driven my car at a speedy 70+ in a clearly marked 60mph zone. Everyone does it. Not everyone realizes that there is a pattern to the speeders. The right lane is the slowest, and speed increases in lanes as you move farther left. If you’re in Dallas, be aware that all lanes are a free-for-all. This is why I hate driving in Dallas, aside from the death lane (which is where the fastest lane and the slowest lane merge completely together on 35E before you get to the exit for 45). People in the wrong lanes, according to the speed they are driving, will either be met with the grill of a semi taking up their entire rear-view mirror, or will get increasingly angry at having to take their lead foot off so as not to run over a poor grandmother in a little Honda. Synopsis: try to follow speed of the lanes, but also try not to endanger the lives of the oblivious.

On the idea of honking My absolute biggest pet peeve is when I am waiting to turn left across several lanes of traffic, and the person behind me honks because, in their expert opinion, I should have gone already. This only distracts me from looking at the road, to looking at them. While I could be negotiating my way out of their superior path, I am instead wishing I had a baseball bat to take to their headlights. I have several times turned around and very clearly mouthed “BACK OFF,” while staring them straight in the face. Honking is not an intimidation tool, it is meant for a warning.  Like “Hey, I am in this lane, and you who didn’t merge correctly (see item 1), are about to run me off the road!” or “Would you please stop digging in your passenger floorboard and go through this light that has finally turned green?” Honking is very beneficial, but users beware, if used rudely you may just get the opposite reaction you expected.

Last but not least: On the idea of hypocritesPlease be very careful which bumper stickers you put on your car. If you are going to advertise something, you might want to make sure you can live up to it. Here are some cases in point:

A black sedan cuts across two lanes of traffic to hit an exit, nearly running into three people, and causing another car to slam on its brakes. Her sign says “Baby on Board.”

A white commercial van merges into another lane without a turn-signal and causes another car to swerve into the next lane. His sign reads “How’s my driving?”

A semi-truck jets out into the road trying to turn left, but cannot make the turn quickly. He causes drivers in both directions to stop while he negotiates the turn. His sign reads “Safety is my Motto.”

A car pulls the wrong way on a one way road. Her sign reads, “Texas Alumni.”

A truck weaves in and out of traffic, traveling at speeds above common sense or general safety. He has a fish on his tail-bed door.

Consider the wise words of Smokey the Bear: “Only you can prevent forest fires.” To the drivers in the great Metroplex of North Texas I say this: “Only you can make yourself an idiot.” So bumper sticker or no, try to be safe out there and be warned… I am watching!

::insert evil laughter::



I took a look at a Nook.

This weekend I did something I never thought I would do. I bought a Nook. Originally when they came out I was so upset that I boycotted them immediately. How could there ever be a replacement for the smell of a bookstore? The feeling of good paper or the thought of the history in a book that was published in the 1920s. Its irreplacable and those IT freaks making e-readers will never understand the joy and inherent history in books.

Then one night I was reading a 600 page book, holding my cell phone as a light, and trying to keep a blanket over everything so as not to wake up my husband. Then I realized the having something small and portable might work a little better than what I was currently working with...

So I went to Barnes & Noble, spoke to a very nice sales lady and walked out with a version 1 Nook.

I have to say I am completely in love. The experience is so close to the real thing that I actually tried to turn the page. For the first time in a long time I turned off the tv, and spent an entire day curled up with a blanket, pomegranate tea, and my new Nook. I downloaded "The Girl who Kicked the Hornets Nest" by Steig Larsson, some short stories by Neil Gaiman, the first book in the Hunger Games series and a few other public domain works. So does this mean I have dashed my dreams of one day owning a library that has a ladder and takes up an entire room of my house? Of course not! I still plan on taking my favorite trips to Recycled Books in Denton, buying copies of classics and reccomendations and curling up with a book and not the nook. Just like e-mail has not eliminated my trips to the usps, I do not see the Nook eliminating the need of books. I will always love them just the same.

I do have to mention, on a related topic, that the Millenium series by Steig Larsson is by far the most frustrating thing I have ever read

. Once you get past the gruesome acts, 15 paragraphs of explaining a minute situation as opposed to the sentence that explains an entire quarter of the book... The story has a lot of potential to be really amazing. I just hope the ending makes all the work worthwhile.

I have had two reccomendations for the hunger games so I am really looking forward to beginning that series.

Any reccomendations on what to read next? And no worries A Song of Ice and Fire is being taken care of with books on tape. :)

2nd or 4th rock from the Sun?

I have been in the midst of a mental round-robin for the topic of this particular entry. I wanted to talk about relationships and gender issues associated with cultural expectation, but it wound up sounding like a bad conversation between a pessimist and a hippie. In essence I think the conclusion I have come to is that there is still a whispered expectation of the 1950s gender roles. In some places it’s not so much a whispered expectation as a club over the head, but still I thought there are probably some people who could read that and disagree entirely.

So when I got to the conclusion that there are members of both the male and female genders who display like qualities (i.e., jealous whiney men and dominating controlling women), I was left with a looming question.

So what?

So what, if there are women who check their husbands phones, or that there are men who constantly accuse their wives of cheating? The problem is not in the expectation of the gender roles but in the action itself. And then BAM! I had an epiphany. There is no point in trying to associate behavior with gender. There is no rule without exception, and no point to be made without severe and debilitating argument. There is however a point in discussing the way people treat each other. I’ll give you a simple common scenario:

Mr Green, with the revolver, in the conservatory…

No, no, no… not that type of scenario! (Silly SNES Clue, oh how I love you). To keep the focus off of the gender roles we’ll call the two people in this scenario Person A and Person B.

Person A wants Person B to wash the dishes. Person B wants to relax after a long day at work.

Person A flies into a tirade about how Person B is lazy, can’t possibly truly love them, and belittles them to their core. Person B sits in consternation at how crazy the other person is.

Now, it does not matter who in this scenario is one gender or the other. The problem is the communication between the two. People talk to others like this all the time, they scream, yell, intimidate, manipulate, lie, cheat, and do a million other horrible things to each other. It doesn’t exist just between spouses; it exists in the workplace, in public, between friends or even complete strangers.

One thing that I have learned in my miniscule 3 ½ years of marriage is this. It’s not that you will never understand each other because you have different social conditioning and different physiology. If you take the time to learn how to communicate with each other so many arguments can be avoided. It’s not about never saying no to the people you respect, but it’s not rolling over their faces with a Mack truck either.

Believe it or not this was a novel idea when I heard a friend of mine say it a few years ago. “No one has the right to yell at me.” Whether you’re the yeller or the person being yelled at, you can take something from this. It’s more than the golden rule; it’s about having a good heart and a good soul. And that should transcend all societal expectations, gender roles or rules, marital habits, or public situations. From there one can build a foundation for everything from self-esteem to a happy marriage. So I encourage you, let your crazy out. Feel what you feel, but learn to convey it in a way that someone can hear you. Because then you can leave a situation of strife with integrity: having won because you learned, not because you beat the will out of your opponent.

Fair Lilith

Being constantly curious about things is a blessing and a curse. I hear about something that appeals to me and naturally turn to the source of all accurate information...

Wikipedia. Duh!

I am a complete nerd and watch anime shows and movies. One of my favorites is Neon Genesis Evangelion. I havent watched it in a while so I'm dusting off my memory here, but I remember that it plays with the idea of gods intermingling with men. Angels who destroy the earth and an imprisoned goddess named Lilith. You know, a good family show.

Throughout this mental journey (from a cartoon nonetheless), I got curious about the story of Lilith. In the show she was a mother, a source of life. So who is she supposed to be? Look out moderately annotated information! Wikipedia here I come! According to Wikipedia Lilith is a mythological being found in Mesopotamian, Jewish, Christian, Greco-Roman, and modern culture. The popular story is that Lilith was the first wife of Adam, but refusing to submit to Adam, she was replaced by Eve. This in turn made me think of the natural references to feminism and the revolution of women fighting for equality. I however choose not to go down that path. While I appreciate the ability to live as more than a man's posession, I do not assume my physiology makes me superior to anyone. So what rabbit trail to tread?




I think I love the idea of Lilith because she is ancient and she has personality. I love old things, places, and stories. It makes me feel connected to things larger than myself. Lilith's immortality is founded in her rememberance. And the fact that she may not have existed is far superceded by the thought that she could have existed. Possibility has always been more founded in my mind than law, perhaps that is why I was such an "expressive" teenager. I have always wanted to go to Europe, not just to see the sites, but to live for a moment in the same place as giants, monsters, gods, and men whom I've only read about. What stories have always caught your imagination? Ever been in a place that did the same?

The Man Who Stared at a Goat

Edward Albee

Playwright Edward Albee wrote the controversial and ‘tongue-in-cheek’ play called The Goat; or Who is Sylvia? in 2002. While doing some research I saw one critic call the play “hilarious.” I really did not take it that way, read on and you’ll see why.  I read it about three years ago at UNT in Dr. Pettit’s Modern Drama class. For some reason the play always stuck with me. Perhaps it was the fact that it is a story about a man who cheats on his wife with a goat.

Oh it gets better, so much better…

Spoiler Alert – Essentially a husband and wife are having an argument because the husband is admitting his infidelity and that he has fallen in love with a goat. There are some awkward moments with a friend, and a really awkward moment with his son, but long story short, enraged, the wife performs a coup de gras on the goat. The play ends when she drags the apparently dead goat into the house and the husband cries “What did she ever do?” His wife retorts: “She loved you as much as I do.” And that’s the end. Hooray!

This play embodies everything that I love about literary criticism. Someone can watch it and become completely enraged at the fact that someone would write such a thing, become appalled and never try to learn anything from it. To those people I say consider this: Bill Pullman, and Sally Field have acted roles in this play and it won a Tony Award. So there has to be something to it right? There’s got to be more than inflammatory subject matter written just to make people squirm in their seats.

Some people are the other extreme... they try and deduce meaning from every letter of every word and can actually become devout “Albeenians” – or any other writer’s #1 fan. They could cry to the heavens that their interpretation is correct and they know every possible facet of what Albee was trying to say.

I am in the middle, I care about what the play has to say but I don’t take it so literally that I’m eye-balling livestock. I remember Dr. Pettit saying (in so many words – it was three years ago) “How does this make us think about love? We judge Martin (the husband) for his choice in partner, but how is that different from the way some people look at homosexuality?”

Dr. Pettit was by far the best teacher I had in college; I got so much out of his classes I took three of them just because he was teaching the subject. I’ve had a few teachers like this who made me think. Most of my favorite teachers made me feel like a complete idiot in the beginning, but then forced me to try again. But perhaps that will be a later blog. I digress.

To each his/her own. I know people very close to me would have the first reaction to the play, and I respect that about them as they are firm in their beliefs and opinions. Think about it, it takes great strength and consideration to be certain about anything and I would never judge someone for that.  For me it made me pause and think about the way I look at relationships and people in general.

So if my husband came home and told me he had fallen for a goat would I be ok with it? Ummm, there are not enough ways to say no without cursing. Haha!  But I do think that there is validity for uncontrollable emotions. Should all of them be acted upon, no (duh!), but I do think it was brave of Albee to pose the question and let his viewers (or in my case, readers) decide what to do with it.

So what do you think? Which reaction would/did you have? Have another play I should read?

I think I've been sucker punched

We had a pretty stellar 4th of July weekend. We went to the movies, saw a great fireworks show, and had some pool side relaxation to cool off. On the actual 4th we had a lazy movie day and watched a movie called "Sucker Punch." At first i thought it would be a complete guy movie. Hot chicks with guns and lots of action. I wasn't disappointed, but I was very surprised.



The basis of the movie is, a girl loses her mother and her abusive step-father has her committed. In the asylum the main character, baby doll, makes friends and quickly formulates an escape plan. (As her step-father has made arrangements to have her lobotomized to keep her quiet.) In order to gather the tools she needs to escape she creates two layers of alternate realities. In order to do the things she has to do, she disappears into the world she creates. Here she is the greatest dancer, a major kick butt fighter and the best part is that her friends come with her.

This got me to thinking, this seems to be a common theme in many movies I've seen recently. Exploring the limits and function of imagination.

But why?

It made me think how appealing imagination is to me. The thought of returning to the time when I wasn't sure if my toys came to life when i left the room. I didn't know that I would spend more time remembering the stars than looking at them. My priorities used to consist of waiting for summer break, riding bikes and pretending that the couch was a fortress.

So what to do? How do you become a kid again without being looked at strangely, or like Baby Doll, keep from getting locked up? Can you submit to the grandeur of imagination and work 8-5?


I think you can have both worlds and still exist in reality. You just have to be willing to have an outlet. For me its a combination of things writing, reading, painting, singing, and learning new things. (and various other things that are better as hobbies than jobs). But over the last year or so i haven't been so keen on my imaginary to do list.

Imagination is important. Whether its an escape to keep you safe until you can return to reality, or its a way to keep you from feeling like you live to work, its a savior of the mind and a great way to revitalize a drive that has been wound down.

What do you do to keep your imagination active? How do you exercise your brain after a week that left room for nothing but work?